Just when you thought the Snuggie Mania was beginning to subside, this happens:
There is no cure for Snuggie Envy. All you can do to preserve your furniture is to open the windows. Your friends, however, are without cure or hope. They will eventually all be sucked into the Vortex of Ultra-Cool, which is the Snuggie.
Note: 'Proximal' means nearby, or close. You're welcome.
You cannot go bowling in a blanket. And the Snuggie goes well with the always fashionable pair of bowling shoes. The Snuggie Bowling League (SBL) has sprung forth onto the scene.
'We want to avoid any Steroid scandals. The SBL will be a clean sport. Since we never roll a gutter, thanks to our Snuggies, there will doubters. I hear the whispers all the time. 'Whisper whisper whisper. That cool girl in the Snuggie has to be juicing'. It is sad that the world cannot embrace the fact that the Snuggie can turn anyone into the next Earl Anthony. So that is why we require the urine samples before each frame. Not each tournament, but each frame. To silence the whispers. It is a small price to pay...It was juicing that killed the Slanket Bowling League. Those poor Slanket people.'
Connie's loving daughter, Caitlin, sent in this ultra high-resolution cell phone Snuggie Zombie Sighting. Caitlin and her friends have dubbed mom the 'Snuggie Zombie'.
I'm just guessing that it will be hard to find the Snuggie Zombie section at the local Hallmark Store, come Mother's Day.
The Snuggie Restless Arm Syndrome (i.e. the inability of Snuggie Wearers to keep their arms by their sides) is sweeping through the country. Pictured below is our first 'Little Person' Snuggie Sighting. We present to you, Tara.
We remind our faithful readers that the Snuggie is one-size-fits-all.
We haven't had a great Snuggie Self Portrait since Alex!!!. Where Alex snapped his pic with his cell phone aimed at his reflection in his bathroom mirror (while wearing a stocking cap in addition to his Snuggie...think about that for a moment)...I digress. But today, we have Paul.
Paul is an inspiration to Snuggie photographers everywhere. Notice the clicky clicky in his hand. He framed this photo, and likely broke out the tripod to get this snap. Such devotion to Snuggie Sightings. We appreciate the hard work. Not only is he using a tripod, he also has his girlfriend on the very left, and his girlfriend's 2 daughters (the ones with the really, really, really big smiles - they obviously love their Snuggies) in the middle. Paul mentioned that the daughters drove 3 hours to be there for the Snuggie Photo Shoot. I'm glad the girls made it with their Snuggies. Imagine the tragedy if they had gotten there only to realize they left their Snuggies at home.
Kristina returns in her Snuggie, this time at the local car wash. She's buffing her car with a ShamWow. Now that is "As Seen on TV" class.
Loni shows how it is done. She types 128 WPM, thanks to her Snuggie. She has also taken to other good habits since acquiring the Snuggie, such as hanging a Martha Stewart poster on her office wall, leaving her cigarettes unsmoked, and notice that she no longer has use for her glasses. It appears that the Snuggie can even improve your eyesight, enabling you to enjoy a good book, such as 'Marley & Me' (off the clock, of course).
We last visited our Snuggie friends from the Silverton Casino aquarium with the 'Snuggie Scuba World Record Cut Short by PETA' entry. Jerry has now made way for the Snuggie Mermaids of Silverton.
The Snuggie Mermaids broke into song:
'Look at this Snuggie, isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many Snuggies can one cavern hold?
Looking around here, you'd think
Sure, she's got everything
I've got Complimentary Booklights a-plenty
I've got Big City Sliders galore
You want Aqua Globes?
I've got twenty
But who cares? No big deal. I want more
I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancin'
walkin' around on those
Whaddya call 'em? Pedi-Paws
Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'
Strollin' along down the
What's that word again? ShamWow
Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free, wish I could be
Part of that Snuggie world.'
Bridget returns for more Snuggie fun, this time taking a Snuggie friend to the Pizza buffet.
After their meal, they hit the arcade, having some good, clean Snuggie fun. Snuggie Skeet Shooting anyone?
