Snuggie Math: The Snuggie > Steroids

with 5 comments

HEADLINE TRANSLATION FOR THE UNINITIATED: ‘The Snuggie is Greater than Steroids’ … (you’re welcome)

When Monica read about getting 10% off for Snuggie Wearers @ the gym (because the Snuggie reduces Phantom Sweat off of exercise equipment, which leads to reduced labor cost…of course), she was all in.

Monica lifting the maximum in her Snuggie. If she were wearing a blanket, the back of it would rip in two, from the magnitude of her Snuggie lifting power.

Monica lifting the maximum in her Snuggie. If she were wearing a blanket, the back of it would rip in two, from the magnitude of her Snuggie lifting power.


By day, Monica is a mild-mannered college student. But at night, when she dons the Security Blanket of the 21st Century, the Snuggie, her strength goes through the roof. It has been documented somewhere, by a realiable anonymous source, that the Snuggie is more effective than Steroids in hitting long homeruns. Seven major league teams have already changed their home uniforms to Snuggie versions. Take that, Slanket!

And of course, there are other benefits to wearing a Snuggie. When one wears the Snuggie, the rules do not apply to you. Exhibit A:

Monica can litter in her Snuggie.

Monica can litter in her Snuggie.


You can get away with littering in a Snuggie. Everyone is so distracted by the sheer awesomeness of the Snuggie, that you can pretty much do what you want. Speaking of doing what you want, Monica wants to do the Heisman. Do the Heisman, Monica!
To all the Snuggie-Haters, talk to my Snuggie Heisman Hand

To all the Snuggie-Haters, talk to my Snuggie Heisman Hand


The Snuggie gives you supernatural balance, as pictured above. And did we mention that it also gives you a free pass when it comes to littering?
Tada. I'm afflicted with the Snuggie Restless Arm Syndrome and I'm a Happy Little Litter Bug.

Tada. I'm afflicted with the Snuggie Restless Arm Syndrome and I'm a Happy Little Litter Bug.

Written by Snuggie

February 16th, 2009 at 3:59 am

5 Responses to 'Snuggie Math: The Snuggie > Steroids'

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  1. HAHAHAH MONICA I LOVE YOU. there’s more to come for sure. pump that ironnnnnn

    Rosie

    16 Feb 09 at 12:21 pm

  2. I knew you had star qualities! Glad to see school is going well!!! Take care….Bridget and the Black’s in Dallas

    Bridget Black

    17 Feb 09 at 9:52 am

  3. OMG MONICA thats hilarious!!!!

    Ally Arbogast

    18 Feb 09 at 6:38 pm

  4. Wow Monica – that snuggie makes you look a lot older. As in Grandma. Where’s the booklight that goes with it?

    Jeanne

    19 Feb 09 at 7:03 am

  5. […] You may remember Monica and Rosie from their Snuggie Adventures at the Gym. […]

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