Just when you thought the Snuggie Mania was beginning to subside, this happens:

There is no cure for Snuggie Envy. All you can do to preserve your furniture is to open the windows. Your friends, however, are without cure or hope. They will eventually all be sucked into the Vortex of Ultra-Cool, which is the Snuggie.

Note: ‘Proximal’ means nearby, or close. You’re welcome.