HEADLINE TRANSLATION FOR THE UNINITIATED: ‘The Snuggie is Greater than Steroids’ … (you’re welcome)

When Monica read about getting 10% off for Snuggie Wearers @ the gym (because the Snuggie reduces Phantom Sweat off of exercise equipment, which leads to reduced labor cost…of course), she was all in.

By day, Monica is a mild-mannered college student. But at night, when she dons the Security Blanket of the 21st Century, the Snuggie, her strength goes through the roof. It has been documented somewhere, by a realiable anonymous source, that the Snuggie is more effective than Steroids in hitting long homeruns. Seven major league teams have already changed their home uniforms to Snuggie versions. Take that, Slanket!

And of course, there are other benefits to wearing a Snuggie. When one wears the Snuggie, the rules do not apply to you. Exhibit A:

You can get away with littering in a Snuggie. Everyone is so distracted by the sheer awesomeness of the Snuggie, that you can pretty much do what you want. Speaking of doing what you want, Monica wants to do the Heisman. Do the Heisman, Monica!

The Snuggie gives you supernatural balance, as pictured above. And did we mention that it also gives you a free pass when it comes to littering?

We previously shared an undocumented feature of the Snuggie – The Snuggie protects you from Phantom Sweat on Gym Equipment, starring Kristina the Snuggie-ciser.

She’s also the one who is relaxing on the beach in her Snuggie.
Kristina is glad to report that her fan mail has been incessant, and she’s truly been a fan favorite.

Be absolutely certain you check out this Rising Snuggie Star’s Blog.
Thanks, Kristina for letting us post your Snuggie pics!

Kristina is exercising, NAY, Snuggie-cising, in her Snuggie. If you’ve ever gone to the gym, geared up on a piece of equipment only to realize you’ve been plastered with Phantom Sweat, you’ll realize the value in wearing a Snuggie. Although we dutifully acknowledge that the back of the Snuggie is open (some dare to call it a backward bathrobe…sacrilege!), it can easily be tucked under so not only are you protected, you are keeping your sweat to yourself. There is a rumor that some gyms are offering a 10% discount for Snuggie-cisers, since they reduce their labor costs. At that rate, the Snuggie will pay for itself within 2-3 months of you not going to the gym (it is approaching February, after all. I’m just saying.).