After three years of sending ALL CAPS EMAILS, the Snuggie King discovers his CAPS LOCK key and the meaning of the word ‘toggle’. Morale is high and the Oatmeal is flowing out of the corner office once again. All Hail, King Snuggie.

Snuggie Guitar Hero, not to be confused with Snuggie Air Guitar Hero, is the new craze sweeping the nation. Exhibit A: Dale

We caught up with Dale just after he completed his six song set. He tossed his axe to a roadie (it actually bounced off the couch, but in Dale’s imagination his roady restrung the Les Paul with stickers, and all was right with the world). He swilled down an energy drink (named ‘Dale’ in his imagination). He wouldn’t say, but the twinkle in his eye told us one thing – “Snuggie Encore”.

Pulling a guitar pick out of his earthy Longaberger Basket, Dale produced a felt tipped pen out of a Snuggie Sleeve and proceeded to autograph it and throw it into the first row of the family den. Straight up – Dale would not be able to sign that pick in a blanket.

Dale quickly started nuking a bag of Orville Redenbacher’s and then kicked in the encore, hoping to finish in the three and a half minutes that Orville requires. I waved my complimentary booklight in the air, which was a fortunate choice as the microwave blew a breaker halfway through ‘Crazy Train’. Being the consummate Snuggie Guitar Hero, Dale shadow played the remainder of the song from memory as I sang and hummed along in falsetto…”We’re going off the rails of the Snuggie Train”.

You cannot contain the Snuggie Restless Arm Syndrome, you can only hope to contain it. The Snuggie Restless Arm Syndrome has been noted previously here, here, and here.

Pictured above is Michael as he is released from the hospital. He suffered from Snuggie Restless Arm Syndrome – the inexplicable urge to raise your hands when wearing a Snuggie. His syndrome has gone into remission, thanks to a steady diet of Star Trek Voyager episodes and stuffed animals. Of course, if you really want to keep your hands down, you could lay underneath those notoriously restrictive blankets.